Speaker 1: 0:00

The Journey Talks Podcast, your favorite podcast to reconnect with gratitude and inspiration, hosted by Jorge Gonzalez. Trigger warning In this episode we discuss mental health topics, including anxiety, depression and other sensitive issues. Listener discretion is advised. If you find these subjects triggering or distressing, please call the NAMI helpline at 1-800-950-6264. Let's continue the journey together. Hello and welcome to Journey Talks Podcast, your favorite podcast to reconnect with gratitude and inspiration. My name is Jorge Gonzalez and I am your host.

Speaker 1: 0:45

I am convinced that behind every gratitude, there is a powerful story waiting to be told. Through this podcast, I want to create a space where we can share these stories and inspire one another. I am convinced that, as humans, we all share one thing in common, and that is the experience of being alive. We meet people along the way we go through situations that they leave a footprint in our lives. Some people, some situations are short and other situations other people linger with us for a little longer. Who are the people? What were the situations that have opened doors for transformation and helped us become the person we are today? That is the main question that this podcast wants to continue to entertain. Through this podcast, I will be interviewing guests with stories of gratitude, but the kind of gratitude that comes out of moments of transformation in our lives, and so I hope that, as we give ourselves permission to enter into that space, we celebrate our shared humanity and tap into that unconditional love we all have access to from within. I've been looking forward to this episode from the moment I had the idea of creating this podcast.

Speaker 1: 2:03

I've mentioned in the past that I used to work with youth and young adults, and our guest today is one of those former youth I had the honor and privilege to work with. She is now an adult and someone I feel very proud of. Originally from Louisville, kentucky, our guest is a writer, a director, producer and occasional actor. She earned her BFA in film and television, with a concentration in screenwriting, from DePaul University in Chicago. A cool fact about her is that, starting at a very young age, she became one of the pioneers and early figures of the social media and content creation phenomenon.

Speaker 1: 2:47

Working with companies like Awesomeness TV, seventeen Magazine and skincare brands like Alba Botanica, she quickly developed a following that exceeded 75,000 YouTuber streams and Instagram followers this is phenomenal. And YouTuber streams and Instagram followers this is phenomenal. Pivoting from the world of content creation and acting, she is passionate about advocating for artists' mental health and hopes to challenge mental illness stereotypes in the film and television industry. Her resume is more extensive, but this gives you a brief introduction to this amazing young woman and what she has been able to accomplish. To say that I am proud of her is a total understatement. Allow me to introduce you, kate Duncan. Kate, welcome to Journey Talks podcast.

Speaker 2: 3:39

How are you Good? Thanks for having me on. How are you?

Speaker 1: 3:43

I am beyond thrilled that we are having this opportunity to connect, to catch up and to have this conversation. Okay, kate, what's going on with you lately?

Speaker 2: 3:53

I've been pretty busy. This week has been a busy one, so I'm kind of just relaxing. Trying to debrief a little bit, I'm living at home with my parents preparing to move to LA in a month or so. Things are pretty hectic right now, but I'm happy to be here.

Speaker 1: 4:12

The joy of transitions right.

Speaker 2: 4:14

Yes, absolutely, we're embracing it as much as possible. Love it.

Speaker 1: 4:19

Like I said, this podcast is all about stories of gratitude and the gratitude that comes out of moments of transformation in our lives. I think your journey has been such a beautiful ride and I would be so honored if you would open up your heart and share some of your stories of gratitude with me and our audience. Would you be?

Speaker 2: 4:38

down for it. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 4:41

What is gratitude for you, kate, and what is your relationship with gratitude?

Speaker 2: 4:46

That's a good question. I would say gratitude is a way of staying present. Life is so busy and can be so hectic that it's easy to forget the way that you are showing up for yourself consistently. When things get busy, you forget about all the things that you've been through. I think gratitude is a great way to ground yourself and recognize that, hey, I'm going through something in this moment. That might be a little bit difficult, but reflecting on the things that you've been through helps sort of ground you. Again, I don't know. Grounding, I think, is important with gratitude.

Speaker 1: 5:28

Thank you. It's always nice to hear when I ask the same questions to everybody, when I see similarities in people's responses to me, sends a very powerful message, and what I keep hearing is this ability that gratitude offers to allow people to be in the present moment. You cannot be grateful if you're not here, if you're not present right now. Tapping into gratitude makes that connection and it's very affirming to hear time and time again that somehow paying attention to gratitude provides us with that opportunity to just be present, being in the moment, self-regulate, really embrace what is right before us, or perhaps help us tap into a place of safety and groundedness. All right, what are you most grateful for?

Speaker 2: 6:22

I think at this point in my life I'm most grateful for my health and my body. I'm just grateful to be here and to be able to move my body. I went through eating disorder recovery in 2020. So it's been around four years into that. Every time I go for a walk or eat a meal, I am so grateful. Time I go for a walk or eat a meal, I am so grateful. It has been a journey, for sure, and one that has been a struggle, but I think gratitude grounds that for me. Any day that I sit down and eat a meal, I'm just very grateful. And then also I'm grateful for family and friends and to have a great support system. Those are the things I'm most grateful for, sure.

Speaker 1: 7:07

Thank you. I would love if we can perhaps talk a little bit more. Not right away, but I think what you mentioned your ability to be so in tune with your body and nurturing your body and understanding that you have gone through moments in which that relationship perhaps was not at its best I think it'll be helpful for us to unpack that a little bit more. So I'm making a mental note. The question that I have for you is can you think of someone or a situation that you went through and now, looking back, you know yourself better, you realize you have better access to the core of who you are and you have a way to notice it, honor it, respect it and care for it. What would your response be?

Speaker 2: 7:50

I was thinking about this past week. I think there's a couple answers to this question. I think there have been.

Speaker 2: 7:57

I could name two or three very pivotal moments in my life that have grounded me and made me more self-aware.

Speaker 2: 8:06

We were talking about this before we started recording, but I started YouTube when I was in high school and I started making videos for the internet. It took off, became my job for a while and what people don't necessarily know is at that time I was struggling with my health, both physically and mentally. I have this medical condition called POTS and it makes me very dizzy. So at that point in my life when I did start the YouTube channel, it was during a medical leave I had taken from school that became my creative outlet. Starting that and growing up on the internet has caused me to be very I don't know the right word I'm definitely a perfectionist and that informs the way I am today and what I want to do in the future. But yeah, going back to your question, I think there are a couple moments in my life that have defined who I am today and I think starting YouTube is one of them, and that's very much informed by my past struggles with health, both physically and mentally.

Speaker 1: 9:11

Can we spend some time here? Can we unpack this a little more? I think all of us can benefit from perhaps unpacking this dynamic that you're talking about, which is the relationship we have with the internet. And it's amazing we're using the internet right now to do this podcast and it's going on the internet to help other people, right, but everything has the side of light and also things also have their shadow. Understanding and navigating that relationship it's one of the greatest exercises of this adventure of being alive. Can we unpack it a little more? What was positive about that outlet and what, slowly but steady, became something that you started noticing, that was perhaps not serving you, or became something that you have to pay attention to because they had other consequences?

Speaker 2: 9:58

Sure, originally I found YouTube to be a creative outlet for me. I was a shy kid growing up. I still am, and I just think I found my voice through YouTube and acting. I was acting a little bit before then and then was struggling with my physical health and had to take a step back, and that's where YouTube came into play, because creating videos is something that is accessible to most people, so you could do that from your bedroom, you could do that from your house. You don't have to be in LA. It really is a game changer, I think, for the entertainment industry as a whole.

Speaker 2: 10:34

I found that at a young age, around teen or 14. It was just something that was accessible to me and became a creative outlet and I'm very grateful for it. But also, at the same time, once I started gaining some followers, it invited a lot of criticism that I don't think you can be prepared for when you're 14. I think also it was in 2013, 2014. So, kind of the beginning of the internet. No one on Instagram had followers really, unless you were a celebrity, and so people. I think it kind of took everyone by surprise just the fact that, like you could have followers even if you're not a celebrity in LA. So that was something I did kind of deal with and it was on a very small scale. I only got to around 70, 75,000 subscribers. That is relatively small, but at the time that was kind of unheard of.

Speaker 1: 11:31

According to today's standards, that might be nothing, but as a 13 year old, 14 year old young lady, 10 years ago that was a lot. I mean, it was the beginning of this phenomenon of the influence of the content creator world that we are so familiar with.

Speaker 2: 11:48

I think it was hard growing up. I was the shy kid again, and so when people did find out about it, it was like, oh, you like what You're into creating videos on YouTube but you can't even speak in front of the class. I really do have a soft spot for the internet and creating videos because of that, because I think it does give a voice to the shy kids, and I'm so thankful that I found it, because I think I wouldn't have gone into entertainment had I not started my YouTube channel.

Speaker 1: 12:18

Let's unpack this a little more, because I think this is beautiful. I'm going to introduce it by saying I really identify with what you're saying, because I'm a creative myself. My path led me to study theology, but all along I was eager to find an honor and create a space to be creative. In my case, it was entertaining people through music and songwriting that gave me such joy, and there's something about honoring that childhood creative energy that keeps us healthy in many ways. Mentally, it keeps us healthy, but we are channeling an energy that manifests through so many different creative ways, through so many different creative ways.

Speaker 1: 13:05

I want to hear about that young Kate who was discovering herself in that space, because we always have these stories of these voices oh, you're the shy one, we've said it a couple of times, oh I'm shy. And so we give power to that story. We give power to that label that we gain or that people put on us. I'm very curious about what was happening to this young Kate that was able to bloom and had this idea to feature different products, to talk about different things. People know you as the shy one, but you are tapping on something very special that opened doors for you to become you. You know it opened doors to let you to this space where you still are thriving and working towards achieving and exploring this creative energy in you. Tell me more.

Speaker 2: 13:57

Yeah, I think in a lot of ways it was about taking my power back too. I mentioned this earlier, but I struggled a lot with my physical health, which then affected me mentally, and the one thing that I kept in my routine every day, even if I felt dizzy or was having a pot flare or felt anxious, the one thing I did every morning before school was my makeup and my hair and my outfit. That was the one thing that I felt like I had control over, and I don't know if that's the most healthy thing, but at the time it was something that I wanted to share and I grew up watching YouTubers, so it just made sense to me to start creating my own videos and it was a lot about, I guess, reflecting on it now. It was more about, I guess, taking my power back and using my voice and these things that growing up as a kid like you don't you're just getting to know yourself at that time and that was just something that I had an interest in and explored a little bit further.

Speaker 1: 15:07

Would it be fair to say that it was never about getting followers?

Speaker 2: 15:11

Yeah, never. It would definitely be fair to say that, yeah, never.

Speaker 1: 15:15

Because you know we live in a world that that has become such a thing, and it can be a very powerful tool, but it also has those areas that tend to be more murky and defeats the purpose of something that can perhaps be more positive. Right, how that perhaps, is incentivizing the wrong aspect of people's personalities instead of just the core beauty, energy that we all have from within, that we have this opportunity to connect with and to explore what that means. And so how do you think that tapping into that space of being creative, how did you respond to the phenomenon of like whoa people are really responding to it. How did it fail to, all of a sudden, being at such a young age and have so many followers at a moment, that we didn't understood the power of and the magnitude of what that could be?

Speaker 2: 16:20

Yeah, it was a little strange, I think in the moment. You know, I was a kid so I wasn't really reflecting on it that much, I was just kind of going with it. I think if I did stop and really think about it it would feel a little crazy. I know my parents. I didn't tell my parents about it until I hit around 10,000 followers on Instagram because I knew like they would take it away. This was kind of in the age of internet safety and that was a major concern and it still is. But yeah, I told them when I hit 10,000 because I knew like I have a substantial amount of people now like you can't take this away from me, like that sort of thing, and not that they would have. They definitely heard me out and it it just became what it did.

Speaker 2: 17:09

But I think, going back to that question of like, how did it feel to have those followers? I think I honestly didn't really think too much about it. I think maybe my parents thought about it more in a sense of like oh my gosh, this is our child and she has like thousands of followers on the internet. Like that is just wild to think about. But in the moment I think I just did my best, whether it was intentional or not. I did my best to not think about it and to just think about, like, the content that I was creating Because, at the end of the day, that's what, that's the reason why I was doing what I was doing. I fell in love with editing at that time, like it was all about the content and the videos and the followers was just what kind of came with it, and at the end that was kind of what had affected me to a point where I was like I need to take a step back. But yeah, it just came with. It came. It comes with the territory.

Speaker 2: 18:03

And today I really feel for this generation of kids who are growing up with the internet because we're talking about my start on the internet and I was a kid but I didn't have an iPhone until I was 14 around there, so I did still have a childhood without all this and I do feel for this generation who is growing up on TikTok and goes viral and has a couple videos that get them traction and it's just different now and I think it invites a lot of negativity and criticism and I do worry about its impact on our mental health, and of the kids and adults too, I think it's important to talk about, and so I do follow a lot of.

Speaker 2: 18:46

There are influencers now who are fighting against those stereotypes or things that we see on the internet. That's not necessarily true. There are influencers who have tackled that and who are like hey, this is my real body. Here's a side-by-side posed picture and here's what I actually look like. Those are the people that I like to follow, cause I think that's really important and I think that they're using it goes back to kind of using your voice. You know they're they've, they're using their voice for good, and I think that's really, really important and that's the good side of the internet. I think that you know we have to embrace that as well.

Speaker 1: 19:25

Yeah, let's, let's stay here for a little longer, cause I think this is really important. I feel like it's important to say and correct me if I'm wrong your parents in many ways, were very supportive of the of the process. Would it be fair to say that it was safe to talk with them once? Once things grew into what they were like, you had a healthy space to have these conversations with them? Absolutely. I would love for us to expand a little more about what you said, and it's this whole concept of young people.

Speaker 1: 19:58

Young kids are growing up with a device in front of their faces at a very young age and I think parents do their best at trying to manage life and having a breather and, by default, we pass on the device to the child at a very young age and they're exposed to the stimuli that they're receiving at such a young age.

Speaker 1: 20:22

Their brains are responding to it and the truth is we don't know what this is going to do 10 years from now.

Speaker 1: 20:29

But because you have gone through it, because you're still at a point that you have lived it, and I think we have voices like yours and the people that you're following that are trying to bring this attention to listen. This can be a very powerful tool, but there are healthy ways of using these tools in order to maintain that mental health that you're so passionate about. I'm very curious because I want to hear what part of you you were able to truly honor and respect when it showed you that you needed to pay attention to it. What part of your spirituality, what in your core energy, in your spirit, your soul, helped you or gave you the opportunity to respond to it? What inside of you did you pay attention to and it helped you find that balance, or when did you notice that you needed help? I think it's important to share these stories, because the internet is not going anywhere it's not you know it's not going to go anywhere and young people are going to continue to consume content.

Speaker 1: 21:42

I think spaces like these can give us an opportunity to, like you say, carry out a message that provide tools for people to develop a better relationship with this tool and with the internet. So, again, the question would be what part of you did you pay attention to and what gave you the courage to honor that voice within you and do things in a different way?

Speaker 2: 22:09

it's not the most healthy, I think, starting it because it was a creative outlet and then it evolving through these followers into something that maybe wasn't as healthy. My parents were great and supportive and encouraging of therapy as well, and I think once you hit a point where maybe it's becoming unhealthy, it's important to get help outside, in a way, some professional help, and that's definitely something I pursued. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 12. That's just something that's been in and out of my life for forever, and when YouTube started taking off was kind of a point where I needed to revisit that. I needed to go back, and you know see, I'm very privileged to also have that opportunity to, because I realized that that's not necessarily accessible to a lot of people, and so I also think trying pivoting more to the modern day internet culture.

Speaker 2: 23:21

I think accessibility to therapy is something that's important to talk about on the internet, because there are therapists on the internet now who have built a following for themselves, and I think it gets into sticky territory because accessibility is important. But also trying to think of the best way to say it, I think it's like you need to see someone face to face Sometimes. I think that building a following can be a little problematic in that sense, but I do think that turning to therapy is really important. When you are noticing that you're struggling, if something is affecting your day-to-day life, it's extremely important to reach out to people, reach out to your friends, reach out to your family. Anyone who you trust will hopefully be able to help you.

Speaker 1: 24:11

Yeah, asking for help, giving yourself permission to honor that voice. It's so crucial. I want to command you for being open and being vulnerable and sharing this aspect of your life. I've also gone to therapy for many years and I understood the benefit of it and I think it's fair to say that, even though mental health it's not a new thing, but we continue to learn more about it. We're normalizing better, but that aspect of seeing someone face to face, being in the same space, there's something to it. When I moved cities because of work, we started doing it through the internet.

Speaker 1: 24:51

We had a foundation. We had an opportunity to exchange and feel what it felt like to be together in the same space, and so maybe that was something that I benefited from. Like you say, I think it'll be responsible for us to say, oh, this credit the online approach to therapy. Some people don't have the opportunity to see someone face-to-face, but there's something to be in the same space with the person. There's something about reading body language and feel the energy of this person in front of you, right? I wonder what has been positive out of being in that space for you? What have you gained by having those conversations? And when things come back to your life or they're triggered, what are the tools that you implement to bring yourself back to a place of self-regulation?

Speaker 2: 25:47

Yeah, speaking on the positives, I think, again, it's helped me find my creative voice and I think creating videos of yourself really invites some self-reflection. I think you get to know yourself on a little bit of a different level, to be honest. And so, talking about self-regulation, I struggled with anxiety all throughout my life and one thing that we really talk about in therapy is breathing techniques. Really grounding yourself in the present moment is really important, and I think it can be kind of disorienting to watch a video of yourself and like that's your job is literally watching, and I'm sure you know a little bit about this too, of editing the podcast and stuff like that. It just messes with your brain a little bit, and I think anxiety is very prevalent and people do that for a living because it's just so strange. I don't know that it's the most natural thing. So self-regulating, I think, is just like okay, I need to take a deep breath, I need to come back to reality.

Speaker 2: 27:00

I'm big on drinking water. Again, I mentioned pots before. I drink a gallon of water every day. It is very, very important to me. So when I start to notice anxiety or dizziness, whatever it is, I turn to my water, I turn to snacks. That's just something that I've discovered over the years helps a lot to regulate my nervous system.

Speaker 2: 27:24

I don't know the science behind it at all, but that's just something where, also, I guess you can get into these editing periods where you're in front of a laptop for hours on end and you forget to eat, you forget to drink water, you forget to take care of yourself.

Speaker 2: 27:39

So I think in moments where you're like, okay, I don't feel so great right now and I don't know why I always turn to water and snacks and going for a walk, I think all of that's really important, just to make sure you're taking care of yourself. At the end of the day, because no job is worth taking your mental health away from you, and that's something I think I've learned growing up is just okay, I don't feel so good right now. I'm going to take a moment to myself and really make sure I'm taking care of myself, because, at the end of the day, if you're not taking care of yourself, you're not going to be able to show up to work or whatever it is to school in the best way possible. You're not going to be able to give all that you can if you're not starting from a place where you've already taken care of yourself, you've already done everything you can and shown up for yourself.

Speaker 1: 28:32

I'm loving this conversation, kate. Thank you so much, so I want to come clean with you and with people out there.

Speaker 1: 28:41

I never understood what anxiety was. I must say that all of a sudden I went through grad school, I was doing my job, my work as a youth pastor and chaplain and providing care, pastoral counseling and this, and that I kind of knew what anxiety was. But I think we have, over time this past 10, 15 years have given us an opportunity to understand what anxiety really is or how it continues, how we continue to understand anxiety better, and so for me it took time to understand that I was not honoring when anxiety was manifesting in my life, because I didn't know how to name it. I was my upbringing, I'm from an older generation and so I would ignore it, but the issue was there or I was reacting to situations, yet I didn't have the awareness to understand and to put the name for it and then learn how to deal with it. And therapy helped me understand that space a little more.

Speaker 1: 29:52

But I must say that what helped me the most was meditation, because meditation was the space that I started to notice the monkey chatter in my mind. Meditation was the space where I was forced to see those patterns in my behavior, that ruminating thought that kept coming, and I started noticing if it was coming from a place of fear, of separation, of insecurity, of lack of self-prejudice, of loathing, and so, to me, meditation helped me see that, and then in therapy I would bring it up with my therapist, or in the meditation itself I would try to then implement some of those tools of OK, this is just a thought, what's behind this thought? And I started noticing perhaps the origin of this trauma, and so it helped me get to perhaps very deep aspects of those past experiences. So when then I was confronted by something, I slowly developed skills to handle it differently, and I must confess that there are moments in which I can handle it better, and there are still other moments when it gets the best out of me and has power over me, right? So I described for you what it was for me mentally and physically, and in my meditation, what was happening.

Speaker 1: 31:16

I'm curious to hear about what that looked like for you, because I understand that for me. I'm very familiar with the language of spirituality and some people might not necessarily resonate with that language and they might call it mental health. Yet I am very curious to understand and unpack and cultivate conversations about what that space looked like for each individual, moments and tools that we can use in order to get to that. Once again, like you mentioned, that place of balance, or homostasis or alignment as we say these days. What would you say about?

Speaker 2: 31:58

that. Yeah, well, honestly, this conversation also makes me think of the book the Body Keeps the Score. I haven't actually read it, but I've seen a lot of TikToks about it. It's just something that's come up in conversation before and I think, yeah, what you're describing is, you're definitely not alone in that sense that mental health hasn't always been something that people have been so open about or even aware of. I think that's the beauty of today's world is that people are starting to talk about it more and realizing, hey, I don't feel okay and maybe this is anxiety, like I think it just there recently in conversations have started opening up a little bit more and I've really appreciated that.

Speaker 2: 32:47

But this book, I think, goes into the body's reaction to stress and anxiety. It can take a very physical manifestation and I have dealt with that since I was a kid and I've learned to associate jitteriness with anxiety or dizziness with anxiety. And that was something that was difficult growing up, because I also have this thing called POTS, which stands for postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. It makes you really dizzy. You have to drink water all the time. You supplement with salt. It can be very hard to differentiate the pots from the anxiety because, again, those physical symptoms are there. So I think it's about being present with your body. I guess is a way to sort of verbalize it. But that's something I've always struggled with with my anxiety and with my pots. It's like what is and how can I help myself? How can I get through this? I think anxiety puts us in such a fight or flight state where you feel like you're dying, and I'm reflecting on my youth and growing up. Going to school. Every day I felt like I was dying almost every day, like it was how bad the anxiety and the POTS was.

Speaker 2: 34:14

And it wasn't until I was able to work with both a psychiatrist and a therapist to get on the right medication as well, to sort of balance myself out and then also to drink my water every day. I think it just comes with. I don't know if practice is the right word, but it's just. I don't know. I think it's using as many resources as possible. I'm very privileged that I got to see a psychiatrist and I could afford medication, because that's definitely not accessible to everyone and I think it's important to acknowledge that. But if it is something that's accessible to you, I would say just in general, it's a great thing to explore.

Speaker 2: 34:54

I think medication's been important to me in my journey with anxiety and I think that's important to not necessarily shy away from in conversations like these, because there's nothing wrong with that. It's okay to take medication, and I think growing up I fought against that so hard of like I don't want to have to depend on this medicine to get through my day, like why do I have to take this and my friends don't, you know? But also maybe they do and maybe no one's talking about that, you know, like that's just something, and I think nowadays people are much more open about it, but growing up I don't think people were as much, and so, yeah, I hope that answers the question. I just think physical manifestation of anxiety is something that we're learning about more and more, and this book has been on my radar for a while and just made me think about that. So, yeah, Amazing.

Speaker 1: 35:49

I heard so many great things in your answer.

Speaker 1: 35:52

I heard loud and clear this whole awareness to pay attention to it and to respond.

Speaker 1: 36:19

Earlier in the conversation you spoke about your relationship with eating disorders very respectfully with you and with our audience, because, as we were chatting before we started, my hunch is that I don't want to attribute it just to how early on you you had to grow up in terms of a business that came to you as I respond, of what you were doing at such a young age and all of a sudden, your body and your mind at such a young age is trying to make sense out of it, right? I love the fact that these days we are paying attention to how our bodies are responding to our experiences. We have been way too used to just going to ignore that part, to not be in tune with our bodies when our bodies are trying to tell us something, and so I would love for us to explore that a little bit more. Where do you feel it was the root, like the cost? What did you learn about yourself and how? How care for yourself out of that experience?

Speaker 2: 37:34

Yeah, just to start this conversation off, I don't think I've ever felt as healthy as I have or as I do right now. I think all of this to say I've gone through this to get to the point where I am now. I feel so healthy and so, on top of my pots, I feel like I would consider myself fully recovered now, all of that. But to go back to the past, I don't necessarily think I'm still unpacking this, too in therapy myself, but my eating disorder did not start until college for me, which is odd because I created videos and was in front of a camera growing up throughout high school. But going back to the medication thing, I was on a lot of different medications that messed with my weight, and that was something that all of a sudden, when I got to college, changed drastically. So I ended up in a partial hospitalization program, very, very briefly, in 2020, before the whole world shut down literally a week before COVID hit. So then I went and moved back with my parents and was kind of forced to come to terms with what I was going through on top of a pandemic, and that made it so much more difficult, as you could imagine, and I'm definitely not the only one who went through that during this time, and I am also very grateful for the timing of that, because it allowed me to recover on my own in my home and the fact that classes were happening over Zoom I was still in school that sort of thing. Anyways, I did enter this treatment program and it's been a long journey since then, but I do think that it has allowed me to become so aware of my health and my body and my pots and all these things, that I value my health more than anything, and I cannot show up for work, for whatever it is, if I'm not taking care of myself. And so, in 2020, I reached this point where I was a sophomore in college and I couldn't make it to class physically because I just felt so sick, and that was when it was like, okay, I need to reevaluate things. This is not working. I need to figure this out. It's been my health has been a problem my whole life, like I'm sick of this. I'm 20 years old, I just want to feel like a 20-year-old. So that is where it all started for me, and now, being four years into the journey, I am very passionate about that sort of representation in film and TV and other forms of media, because I think that informs the way we think of eating disorders.

Speaker 2: 40:17

I think there is this very stereotypical thin, white female representation of an eating disorder in film and TV. That's all we kind of know. That's what we attribute it to looking like, and the truth is eating disorders have no look and no size to them. Anyone can struggle with one, and I think there are gaps in the accessibility and insurance coverage, and that's a whole other conversation.

Speaker 2: 40:41

But this is something that I feel very, very passionate about and I think, being on the internet in the past and then possibly coming back now, it's something that I feel like is important to talk about, because we have these stereotypes in our head because of the way that it's been portrayed in the media, and so I think it's important to talk about that and to dismantle it and to follow people on the internet influencers who are talking about the way that photographs are posed and they're not real, and Photoshop is a thing and all of this is not real. The people that you're following don't look the way that you think that they do, and so it just creates these beauty standards that are problematic in a way, and I think that it's important to talk about to talk about.

Speaker 1: 41:35

I admire so much your courage and bravery. I think you're being prophetic in bringing this up to everybody's attention. I commend you for it. I think it's phenomenal. I hope that this will not be the first time that we give ourselves permission to have this conversation, because I love to explore this later on with you, but I would like to ask you what do you do in order to connect with yourself? What are the practices that you do that you practice that allow you to tap into self-love, self-love, self-care? Tell me about it, because I want to learn.

Speaker 2: 42:07

I want to hear about it, yeah well, this is one of my favorite questions ever. Self-care is so important to me. If I've learned anything throughout my almost 25 years on this earth is like, that is the most important priority to me. And I don't think. I think it's important to recognize that self-care is not selfish. You, by caring for yourself, you are able to show up for others in a way that you wouldn't be if you hadn't taken the time for yourself. So I think it's important to sort of dismantle that sort of stigma of like, oh, you're being selfish, because I don't think that could be any more wrong. But as far as like self-care and caring for myself goes, I also have ADHD. I very much struggle with routine and if I've learned anything throughout my years in college, it's that sticking to a routine really helps me thrive, it helps me with my POTS, it helps me with ADHD. It's a great, I think, a great way to kind of ground yourself Again, talking about gratitude and staying grounded and in the present moment, I think, a great way to kind of ground yourself again, talking about gratitude and staying grounded and in the present moment, I think follow up.

Speaker 2: 43:15

For me, following a routine has been so important and life changing. I've started working a nine to five job recently and really I really try to devote two to three hours honestly every morning before I leave at 8.30 to wake up, eat breakfast that's non-negotiable for me to get my water in, to do my hair, to do my makeup, to really just devote that time for myself before the day gets busy. I recognize, too, that that's not always realistic for everyone, but I think if you can take a moment, even if it's like five, 10 minutes, to eat something, to fuel your body, to move your body, whatever it is, I have noticed such a difference in the way that I feel throughout the day and I can't start the day without that routine of like I'm eating breakfast, I'm making breakfast for myself. To me, that is just the epitome of self-care. That's just like taking care of yourself, and I think that's so important. And then also just connecting with yourself.

Speaker 2: 44:15

I think finding your creative outlets. If you're a creative person, I think that's so important. I'm also a writer. My degree is in screenwriting, so that's something that's very important to me as well, and I think practicing getting five to 10 pages out a day is very important to me and something that I'm also trying to implement because it's important to foster those creative sides of you as well.

Speaker 2: 44:39

But yeah, overall I just think building a routine has been life-changing for me and I never thought that I would be someone to work a nine to five. I've never in my brain, I've never been able to cope with that just with ADHD and it's actually been the most helpful for my health because you wake up, you eat breakfast, you eat lunch at a specific time, then you get off, you eat dinner. It's just very structured and I think that that structure has just been very beneficial for me. And I think it's also underestimated to the sort of benefits of sticking to a routine. And that's not to say that you can't deviate from that, because it's important to be flexible and not restrict yourself or whatever it is, but as long as you are taking care of yourself, I think is the bottom line yourself, I think is the bottom line.

Speaker 1: 45:30

Thank you. I appreciate the honoring of those basic needs and I'm hearing a level of awareness. Listen, we can do that every single day and go through the motions and not being present, but the being present, the understanding that when you do that, you are caring for your body, you're nurturing your body, you're providing your body with what it needs. I think it's developing a very instructive and healthy relationship with yourself and your mind and your thoughts and your habits, and I think that's crucial. I want us to talk a little bit more about your gifts as a writer, as a producer, as a director. What are you channeling there? Yes, we talk about creativity, but I want to understand what's happening in Kate's mind when she's channeling whatever that is coming through as you write, as you try to get into a character, as you're trying to produce something and develop a vision for the scene or the show. Let's unpack that a little more.

Speaker 2: 46:33

Sure, I think at the heart of any film or TV show or even media segment is a story, and it takes work to craft a really compelling story, and that's something I spent five years in film school. That's something I've studied. But it's really important to me to be authentic in the way that we portray mental illness on screen, particularly eating disorders, which we touched on before. I think they are so often glamorized and romanticized and that's so not beneficial for not only the eating disorder community, but also just like our understanding of mental health and disorders.

Speaker 2: 47:16

I think my goal in writing and directing and producing is to tell these stories as authentically as possible and to really make sure that we are including voices in the writing process, and I think that's the way that you get to a really compelling story is making sure that you are doing those things. So, yeah, that's just something that I, over the years, have really come to value and just yeah, working in entertainment is very difficult. So, as an aspiring producer and director and those sorts of things, I think it's important to be driven, to find what drives you in that, and it can never be money. I don't think that's a driving reason to do these things, because it is such a gamble. So, for me, what drives me is the potential to make an impact on someone, even if it's just one person. I think it's what I'm very passionate about.

Speaker 1: 48:17

So thank you, thank you. Let's talk about positive moments out of your journey, people that as you find yourself in this, and moments of need for direction who have been the angels, the guides, the mentors, the moments that perhaps you can recall and remember that all of a sudden gave you that little push or you were able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Is there any story, any memory that you can share with us, that can touch on?

Speaker 2: 48:53

that.

Speaker 2: 48:53

Sure, I think, at the end of the day, you're the only person who can decide to get better or decide this is what you want to do.

Speaker 2: 49:04

I think you can be inspired by other people and it's also really important to have that inspiration, have those people that you lean on and you get motivation from. But at the end of the day, I've felt like every moment where I've been at a very low point in my life, it's always been important to want it for yourself and to want to get better for yourself, or to want to chase this dream for yourself and for no one else, for no other outside forces, whether that's money or fame or followers, anything like that, I think, is just you're gonna crash and burn if that's what you want to get out of it. So I think going within is really important Again. Finding what drives you, I think, is gonna help you in the long run, because it is. It's not something that will happen overnight and I think if you want like longevity, you got to find it within yourself for sure. But you also have other people, of course, that you find inspiration from.

Speaker 1: 50:08

I so appreciate that Ultimately you need to want it for yourself. I think that's psychologically speaking. It's a place, it's a rootness, it's an anchor that comes. But I think there's something so powerful to making that decision and to understand, perhaps, the things that are getting in the way that. What are the weeds in the way that do not help you get to that space? And therapy practice, breath work, meditation, exercise, whatever channel we get to develop or we discovered that is the tool that serve us the best, to use that tool in order to access that space of truly listening to that inner voice within us.

Speaker 1: 50:55

It's not about the money. In my case it has been a feeling of sense of purpose, a feeling of balance in life, a feeling of easiness. I grew up as a pleaser. That's still part of my personality, but because I know that about myself, I can see when it's creeping in and I can also talk to that part of myself with compassion. And so when I'm triggered, when I see myself acting out of a place of insecurity or in need of attention, I have some homework to do. I have some homework to do to step back, to go for a walk or to go work out, to go meditate, to write, to play a song, like I play the guitar. There's not anything that can help me honor that feeling of alignment, that feeling of easiness, and I'm mentioning that because I'm hoping that our listeners can say, oh yeah, I know that feeling. Maybe I can cultivate tools or practices that can help me be there.

Speaker 1: 52:05

And I appreciate that you mentioned it, because the whole purpose of these conversations, ultimately, is so that we can, like you say, normalize it, cultivate it and do what it needs to be done in order to expand our collective awareness and individual awareness so we can show up better for each other and perhaps provide the space that somebody else's need when they're going through a difficult time.

Speaker 1: 52:32

As a helper and a pleaser, I wanted to fix the problem for people immediately. I very quickly noticed and learned that that doesn't necessarily work all the time. You know, some people need space and the most loving thing you can do for that loved one or for that friend is to give them space and understand that I don't have to take it personally, it's not about me, it's about what this person is going through. And so maybe then giving them the space and, a few days, send the text hey, is it okay to check in now or how you doing and go back to that opportunity for people to understand what serves them and what helps them tap and operate from a place that they're being genuine and authentic with themselves. Is there anything that you can add to that thought or do you resonate with?

Speaker 2: 53:23

yeah, I mean. I think it's also important to know too, that we're all human and we all make mistakes and, of course, we're going to be driven by things that maybe aren't sustainable in the long run, like the money or whatever it is. It's in our human nature to make mistakes or to learn. I think there's also a lot of life. As I grow up, I'm like, oh my God, a lot of this is just trial and error, you know, like I think we're all changing and we all need to have grace with each other and the fact that we're all going to make mistakes and it's not fair to be so hard on each other. I think it's important to allow the space to learn and to grow, and I think the internet can be a problematic place for that.

Speaker 2: 54:09

I think also, you mentioned purpose too, and I think that's a great word to really try to find your purpose. I think people struggle with that in life, and I think it can be a lot less complicated than it needs to be. I think we tend to overcomplicate things and really, at the end of the day, I think a lot of us are driven by the want to make a difference in the world, and so it's like, just, you know, explore whatever you feel driven to, whether it's a podcast or creating videos or whatever it is like. It's always worth exploring something that you feel interested in, because if you fail, you fail. If you don't, you don't, you know. It's just. At least you can say that you tried, and I think a lot of people are hesitant to try nowadays, and I think now is the time to try it out, because the internet is is a great, crazy place. We've talked about this for the whole podcast, but, yeah, humans make mistakes. Don't be too hard on yourself, you know.

Speaker 1: 55:07

Try things try things out. Yeah, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it. Shared humanity or shared humanity is not, I mean. Our shared humanity encompasses everything, absolutely the, the positive experiences, the, the fears, the moments of struggle, the moments of limitation, and that's the whole journey that makes your your journey.

Speaker 2: 55:29

That makes a beautiful story. I think, like that is. That's what life is about is learning and making mistakes and growing. And, yeah, you can't learn if you don't. You know, take the leap.

Speaker 1: 55:40

That's incredible your words, not mine. Your words and not mine. Well, I want to honor your time and I want to honor people's span of attention. Like I said, I'm definitely going to have you again because I think you, I think I love the fact that, as a young woman, professional woman, you are bringing attention, you're being a prophet and speaking about this and raising awareness about it. I wish you nothing but the best. But before we close, I always ask my guest what's a quote, what's someone that has inspired you lately or that has served you as a guiding tool?

Speaker 2: 56:19

Sure, yeah. So I've been thinking about this all week and I pulled up my Pinterest boards because I have quotes galore, and I landed on one quote that I think just embodies everything in your 20s. I really resonate with it. It says love yourself a little extra. Right now you are growing, healing, learning and discovering yourself all at once. You got this Very simple. I don't know that that's really even a quote, I just found it on Pinterest and I just think that that's really important to remember as you're in like a transitional phase in your life.

Speaker 1: 56:54

Love it, love it. Say it one more time so our listeners can really enjoy it and receive it once again.

Speaker 2: 57:00

Again, these aren't my words. I found this on Pinterest just for everyone listening, but it says love yourself a little extra. Right now you are growing, healing, learning and discovering yourself all at once.

Speaker 1: 57:11

You've got this, so profound, so good all at once.

Speaker 2: 57:18

That's my favorite yes, very simple, but also, just, you know, have grace.

Speaker 1: 57:23

yes, yes, yes, thank you so much, thank yes Pinterest always, always is my go-to. That's great, that's great. Well, kate, I always ask my guest who could be a future guest on this podcast, and I would love to. I'd be curious to hear your answer. Who do you think would be a good future guest here on Journey Talks podcast?

Speaker 2: 57:47

Yeah. So I was also thinking about this this week and I'll send you this clip. But there was this man, this bus driver in Louisville I'm blanking on his name right now but he bought a little boy a pair of pajamas on pajama day because he didn't have any pajamas to wear. He's from Louisville. I don't know how it would, how reaching out to him him would go, but he seems like a really great person. I'll send you this clip. I think he could be a great person to reach out to. He's younger, he's really into this gratitude thing, giving back, and I think he could be a great person to to reach out to. So I don't know him at all, but it was on the news and he's from Louisville, so I I thought maybe that could be a good guess all right.

Speaker 1: 58:33

Well, this is. We live in a world where a lot of things can happen.

Speaker 2: 58:36

Anything is possible yeah, I'm totally blanking on his name, but it's I'll, I'll send him your way it's all good.

Speaker 1: 58:45

I I hope our listeners um could benefit from conversation. Like I said from the beginning, the gratitude conversations is not just about the moments of bliss or where everything is going well and positive. I feel like I am so grateful for this conversation because it gives me an opportunity to get to know you better and to understand the beauty of the human complexity, and so I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful to you. I wish you nothing but the best. I hope you continue to surprise yourself in the same way that you have been able to over the years, and that life grants you with the opportunity to continue this impact that you have created through your platforms and through your journey. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much, kate. For our listeners, this has been another episode of Journey Talks podcast, your favorite podcast to reconnect with gratitude and inspiration. I look forward to connecting with you guys in the future and I look forward to having you, kate Duncan, on this podcast in the future. Again, thank you, guys for watching and for listening. We'll see you next time.

Speaker 2: 59:52

Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1: 59:56

Thank you for watching. Make sure you like and subscribe to our channel. Share your feedback, hit that notification bell and let's keep the conversation going.